Month: March 2014
BRIGIT
Last Sunday
I was driving on the highway at half speed
With an almost flat tire
Not afraid to die because yoga was particularly good that day
I called you because my heart was fat with love
Which is what happens after yoga
I just wanted to say “as far as friends go, you were my first love”
But you stopped me
Because you had something better to say
“I’m pregnant”, you said
And snot exploded onto my steering wheel
And I got the place
Where joy takes the wheel
Which is a dangerous place
Because joy doesn’t drive
And I howled
A real belly-howl
The kind you can’t make just because you want to
You know me
In the particularly painful way
That you have loved and loathed me in the same fiscal year
We have been so many things
For each other
Mother, sister, lover
Today I called you to tell you
You are the thing that grows in my belly
ENFP
Remember the time we were digging?
You asked me my Myers-Briggs
While a helicopter flew overhead
I told you ENFP
I guessed you were the opposite
And I was right
We came in just before dark
Made tea for throats hoarse from yelling
You unrolled the cuffs of your pants
Dumping out bits of dirt from the day
I didn’t know you well enough to chide you
So I laughed and poured tea
I turned to the cupboard looking for sugar
I wanted so badly for you to come up behind me
And squeeze me at the waist
But you, being my Jungian foil
Would never do such a thing
“Milk in your tea is disgusting” you said
Maybe tomorrow we’ll dig again
KILLER DUO
SMALL CURRENCY
You and I
Communicate
In small currencies
Stick together sweat
And for a second we are looking at each other
Or
Your elbow on my knee over dinner with friends
Fragments after a few beers
Point at your cheek to be kissed
Tell me your grandparent’s names
Pennies
I offer up silver dollars
Without pants on the living room floor
You pocket them
Hold me tenderly by the hair
I can’t sleep for hours after
At some point
Wake in the middle of the night
Feel the sticky paper mache of large bills
Glued to my belly
Sleep hard
And wake to find them gone
Emergency
You know me
I have an incredible sense of urgency
The type that lets me enjoy nothing
And anticipate everything
The kind takes perverse pleasure in peeling open the blossom
Long before it’s willing
The urge for the next
Is so strong
That if you held my hand
And I decided I must be on
I might gladly gnaw my arm off at the shoulder to steal away
There’s a discipline in the ripening of a thing
That is foreign to me
The little prince waits each day as the fox draws nearer
I’m the guy who ran him off
You were supposed to be here
A half hour ago
To take me to dinner
I repainted my nails
Smoked two cigarettes
And wrote a poem
I thought about
Spitefully running out the back door
And heading to the grocery to buy milk
Or maybe to get a short run in
Or anything that is more productive than this
But instead, I sit and watch clouds go by from the second story window
Pretend I am on a massive ship
At sea alone
Just enjoying the sound of the water
Lapping the hull planking
Or perhaps I invent an emergency there, too
Exponential Growth In Nature
After sixty three miles of riding
My ass bones hurt
So I get off
Walk to the middle of a scratchy field
And squat to pee
Ohio is flat and farms are only allowed on tree a piece
So there’s no place to hide
But I don’t mind baring my ass
To the crows or other nameless birds
Because I’m not ashamed
I like it out here
Even though it’s not pretty
There’s something nice about a space
Uninterrupted
There’s room for everything
To uncurl in a big open space
And so I let my heart do it
Uncurl
Like the nautilus with its
Self-similar spiral curve
Growing as it unravels
Dizzying
I don’t even realize
Until crop winds crackle what’s left of corn stalks
That I’m standing with my shorts down
Palms open
Facing the sunset
And when I come out of it
I’m not ashamed