It was a long night for me
Indulgently obsessing over a trivial thing
(In the grand scheme of things)
I made my fingers hot with typing
Till one hour past my bed-time
But you won’t see any of those words here
Because I’ve had time to think about it
And it’s not that I stopped feeling those wild
Circular, irrational thoughts
It’s that you shouldn’t know about them
Because they’re embarrassing
The only really good pain
Is the kind you give yourself.
Like putting red-cold thighs
Into a tub of hot water.
This morning I ran in the crackle fresh snow
Not to feel pain,
But to feel known
By something other than a lover
A few times, I stopped, just long enough to
Fix my clothes into a place where
Nothing was exposed.
Where I stopped just long enough
To feel the sweat chill at the base of my pony tail.
I am no new animal
And it comforts me
To know that I’m one of a
Billion living things
That sought out a snow cold morning,
When a warm den is the only thing
Keeping us from connecting to the everything,
Or the nothing.
(Depending on what you’re after.)
I’m glad that it can make us laugh,
On a morning where warmth
Is not the only thing.